we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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