By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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