he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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