she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
