my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
