Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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