Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize