I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
