Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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