Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
