So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
