so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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