Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
50% drunk capacity currently
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
