Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
