i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
