Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
