Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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