So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
