there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
