Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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