I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
a search helicopter?!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
