Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
