I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
