i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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