Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
