oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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