I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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