Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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