wakey wakey hands off snakey
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
