i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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