Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
