when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
now i know why i became what i already was.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
