Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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