1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
