upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
