you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
