Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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