the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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