Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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