This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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