oh god the rape fog is back!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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