After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize