yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
