Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
