you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
