Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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