i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
