At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
