end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
