I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
