...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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