She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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