Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
