Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize