Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
