Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
