sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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