Yo dont text me then not text me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
