Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
