i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
