WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize