We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
